Mother of the Bride

It just goes to show you that you can spend alot of money on designer clothes, and still look like my Mother. Or Liz Taylor during the fat turban wearing days. It is described as: Black with silvertone beaded detail. Ballerina neckline. Cape sleeves. Cascade ruffles. Pure silk chiffon. Made in the USA. Yes it's CAPE sleeves. Awesome. Plus its made in the US of A. Only $2790.00.

Ode to the Long Sweater

It has been amazingly hard to find expensive ugly clothes to rip on these last few weeks. My usual standby of looking though the cocktail dresses has turned up some super cute and mostly so-so garments. Ah but then I came upon this and my heart rejoiced! Philip Lim created this gray with green trim sweater. Deep V neckline. Puffed three-quarter sleeves. Patch pockets. Tonal belt at natural waist. Banded hem. Extra fine merino wool. Only $550. Get two.

toilet paper rosettes on your boobs

I'm deeply unimpressed. The description is outrageously optimistic...Ombre Silk chiffon Rosette Tube Dress "The only downside? The looks of envy we'll get from all the other girls at the party." 24" long, measured from center back.

OK its 24 inches from the center of the back. 24 inches is 2 rulers long to cover your butt. Yikes that is crazy short. $297.00

Hell bent for Leather

I often wonder where I could find a leather dress. Who doesn't? And here is the answer to my prayers, in black leather no less. Allow the awesomeness of the official description to wash over you: "MARC BY MARC JACOBS Leather Funnel Neck Dress. Short-sleeve shift dress is cut from buttery-soft leather and is secured by an edgy exposed zipper at the back. A dramatic, face-framing funnel neck and seamed dropped waist complete the futuristic look." Face Framing...isn't that sweet? pick this up for $828.00.

Oh No Way

The model is clearly HOT and works out so that's ALL GOOD. But the suit- I mean really! Not even the gayest of the Gays would wear this. But its on sale for a mere $66 (down form $88). Grab it fast.

Stevie Nicks was having a garage sale

Witchy Woman! Super cute dress to wear to your Coven Meeting, or when your boyfriend is scheduled to be hung, or maybe the Annual Witches and Warlocks Association is having a potluck. Anyplace else, this sucks. Pick it up for a whopping $1990.00 for the following: Semi-sheer off-shoulder dress in silk chiffon. Tonal metallic detail throughout and drawstring at ruffled hem. Awesome.

Look cheap for $198

Hey I'm not perfect. I like to wear sexy shiny things, to draw attention to myself so my man remembers that I'm female. But geez ease off! In the description it describes this as having a Boat Neck. Yeah. Its got a boat neck like it is only a little tight. Whatev. Like I said before buy it cheap for $198 at one of those cute boutique online stores.