Bejeweled Cashmere Dress

I didn't make this up - that was the name of the dress on the website. Hilarious. And yeah those are real stones on the neckline. The back of the dress has that same pattern to it. Isn't that going to accentuate my saddlebags in a really bogus way? Is it just me? But it is a sweater so it might keep you warm. $525

My Dress Won First Prize at the State Fair

Is it just me or is that thing on her shoulder - which they sweetly call a brooch detail - does it look like a blue ribbon? Also a strange detail is that this silk charmeuse dress has side pockets. As if that fabric could justify putting something in those pockets. Pluh-lease!! Good luck with that. $495.00

Resort Wear - at the beach

Wear a vest at the beach. Actually it's by Red Carter and considered a Tuxedo Print Halter Swimsuit. Yay! $340

Something for Dad - Slippers

Holiday shopping is so hard sometimes, especially for the older men in our lives. Whoever they may be, I'm not here to judge. Everyone needs slippers. These are clearly high quality, I mean the velvet will totally stand up to Illinois winters. And the detailing! The description says its HANDMADE in England. All I can say is WOW. $440.

Jellies by Marc Jacobs

Oh wait! No I mean... Rubber round toe ballet flat with cut-out detail at toe and three small holes in vamp for ventilation. Rubber sole/upper. Available in Yellow. Made in Italy. MADE IN ITALY!!!!!! Jellies made in Italy. They come in other colors too, like aqua and smoke. No lie. I'm also not lying when I tell you these are on Sale down to $95 from $155.

A Stocking Stuffer

Lovely isn't it? Yeah its cashmere and all, but honestly! It must be the bad economy that makes this price so high. Pay $995 for your choice of colors.

Moon Boots

These are those UGGs shoes that all the kids are wearing. I don't like them, but I'm not their demographic. And even though its too easy to make fun of what young kids are wearing, I can't deal with these. Don't they look like the shoes your mother would make you when your Halloween costume was a robot or Astronaut? She grabbed a pair of slippers or old boots and spray paint them silver. These are made by UGG for and they sell for $150. My GF and I discussed these and she reminded me that the boots were called Moon Boots, you got them at Kmart. They were awesome if you were 5 but any older than that your school chums would hassle you to death about your dumbass Moon Boots. Good times.