What blows my mind here is the exposed back zipper. Wow that is unsightly. Especially the way it stretches the sweater fabric in such an obvious way. Yuck. And I think the whole horizontal stripes thing is ugly. But maybe you have a $248 gift card and would love to pick this up.

Tablecloth for a Shirt

Who is going to look good in this perfectly square shirt, with its horizontal plaid and crazy ruching at the neck? Maybe it would look better on a real live person instead of the cone head mannequin. It's a holiday steal at $159.

Ruffles Have Ridges

Its the holiday party season and everyone is shopping for that perfect little black dress, am I right? How about this fancy dress - its a Marc Jacobs Organza Ruffled Dress on sale for $398. The detail is hard to see on this beauty, but at the top above al the ruffles is a nice big bow. Lie down under the tree for full effect here. Although if you are pregnant or top heavy you could conceal that nicely.

This is a Member's Only jacket

The description of this $506 jacket says it's a "Classically styled motocross jacket takes a super-hip turn in metallic silver leather. Styled with zippered pockets at the chest and hips and snap-closure epaulets at the shoulders." PLEASE! Stop with the epaulets. Also this IS NOT a motocross jacket. Anyone who was alive and dressing themselves in the 80's knows exactly what this jacket it a copy of. Am I right?

More "Resort" Wear

Aren't these busy pants? What color shirt would you wear with these? Is that an elatic waist? Yikes. But still not too bad considering they are only $59.

The World's Worst Camel Toe

I passed this dress at first because it really didn't catch my eye as ugly per se. But then I realized that the stem of the flower on this dress looks like its in the exact center. You tell me, doesn't this give this poor model a simulated camel toe? And what is that behind her, in the space betwen her arm and her side? Is that a clip of some kind? When you pay $2435 for a Versace Calla Print Silk Dress, does the clip come gratis?

Disco Fever

I have a strange love hate relationship with sparkly items. I knew tube tops might come back into fashion, but it seemed like the sequin tube top is such a stereotype, that it's just too ridiculous. But no. Again, on an "urban" clothes website we find it for the actaul price of $32. But still. Really? Are the kids going to wear this awful thing? Send me your photos.

Well I'll Be Dipped... In Silver

Sometimes I have a problem with the whole set up of photo. Like with this one. The beehive hair-doo they have the model in is too much. I also think the model might have a tumor or implant gone awry in her butt. The one cheek is HUGE and the other, not so much. I want to know what this material feels like, it looks so silky and cooly metallic. The cowl neck in back is kinda 80's Dynasty retro. The whole look is something only Krystal Carrington could pull off. But for $220 this Oleg Cassini dress is quite the holiday bargain.

Zebra Prom Night

This would only look good if your prom's theme was "African Safari". It could happen people. The back is bad, I don't like dresses that allow for your bra by calling attention to it with a strap just as ugly as your bra's. I don't get it. The slit up the front looks allarmingly high, I wonder what it would be like to sit in this dress. Cross your legs! It's $398.

Oh But These Are BUBBLE Shorts

I've never paid more than $50 for a pair of shorts. I think they would have to be made of some kind of miracle fabric that made my legs and but look AMAZING instead of like a Gym Teacher. Anyway these are Bubble shorts, and I think based on the picture they have elastic around the bottom hem to create a fullness at the top of your thigh. Why is this a good idea? The tops of my thighs don't need fullness, trust me. But these shorts seriously cost $410 for a blue elastic waist on shorts made of 98% cotton, 2% spandex. The shirt sucks too, this is described as a Striped Batwing Top with a camisole underlay, all made of 88% viscose, 8% cupro, and 4% polyester. Price tag for the shirt? $660.

Shame On Vera Wang

This is just ugly. And expensive. I just don't get it. I've see so much of her design that I love, her gowns, the wedding dresses! It seemed she could do no wrong. But this, it confuses me. Why the dull colors? This came from the Resort Preview, but why would you wear this shapeless sack to a resort? The ruching is not working. Maybe on a woman who was a larger size it might look better, but I can't get over it. Did I mention it's expensive? It's 100% silk dress that will set you back $1395.

Something For the Men

Aren't you sick of boring old navy blazers? I know I am. This sweet number has that "inside out" look so many men are looking for. For your $289 you get the zip pocket details, shoulder epaulets and a large, textured leather appliqué on the back. Who doesn't love epaulets? And that appliqué looks like it will rub off in the car. Good times.

Designer PJ's

For $275.00, I think I will sleep better in these 100% cotton pajama's from a famous designer. I want to be fashionable under the covers, literally, while I'm sleeping I should look fabulous! Honestly, this may be taking their plaid signature thing a little too far.

Shopping for the Holidays...

How many times have you gotten the man in your life some bogus scarf because you were at a loss at the holidays? Well look no more! This scarf is for the man who has everything. You KNOW he doesn't have this. Who exactly would have this? Its...well its, so poofy! All the other scarf models could tie their scarves in those trendy knots, but this poor guy has to have his scarf just dangling there. When has any neck in the history of clothes needed to have a fur scarf to keep warm? I'm amazed to see my husband wearing gloves, it would take an act of Congress for him to wear a scarf as crazy as this. It's lined with forest green casmere and the fur is racoon. It retails for $2400.

Which Looks Worse?

Lord help me! I found these on a popular city-folk young person shopping site. Do the kids actually wear this stuff? I love the way they have the model wearing my grandma's pumps from 1987, what is that?!? Anyway, I just could not decide which color I hated more, pink or black. These are called "Sparkle & Fade Marled Tights" and they are on sale for $9.99. Yea they are supposed to be sparkly.

Paisely Pants Are Alarming

At first I thought maybe I had found another pair of metallic pants, but alas, its only a pair of Paisley Print on a dark gray 5 pocket jean. These really looked strange on my monitor, I wonder how they look in person. Can they look as alarming? These Jones Signature pants are $59.25 (maybe on clearance?) and the website recomends you wear them with a Jones Signature Classic blouse. Great Idea! How about this one? Its $66.75.

Metallic Prom

When I went to Prom way back in the day, my Mom made my prom dress. Don't these two dresses look like they are hand made too? Like with tin foil? Anytime I see a dress that makes the model look fat it makes me wonder who this dress might look good on. Horizontal pleating (or ruching) AND it's a mermaid style, there is alot going on here. You do have the color choice of either NASA Space Module Gold or Baked Potato Silver. Buy either one of these sweet Prom numbers for the low price of $550.

Mutton Sleeves - Get With It!

I had no idea there was such a thing as "mutton sleeves" until I saw this $998 dress description. Let me also add that this thing is wool, dry clean only and kind of comes across as Charlie Brown's shirt, with its zip zag patterns. Wow is all that comes to mind.

Skinny Orange

For the record, I'm trying NOT to poke fun at the models. I mean, they aren't wearing clothes from their personal collections or anything, they are working. And the pressure to be thin must be outrageous. But this dress on this model is very very bad. Orange like a pumpkin, but the model is a skinny waif who looks like she might fall over in a stiff breeze. Maybe this size 00 dress is just to darn big. Or maybe she hasn't eaten in about a week. Seriously, this girl might need help. What designer would look at their dress on this model and not be pissed. Orange is so flattering on blondes. Grab this Chloe silk organza dress for $2,280.

Taking Earthones to a New Level

Brown is a fine color, I have no issues with it. But this is nuts (get it?). This look is called the "Filthy Wash". No kidding! How can you tell when its clean? Anyway, this lovely Baby Phat jumpsuit is 98% cotton and 2% spandex for that form fitted look that everyone loves in their jumpsuits. Regular price is $89.

Stop Staring At My Belt!

Who hasn't felt a little whimsical while shopping for a new dress? You might see this one and think, "I cold wear this anywhere AND it will cover up any weight gain." But then you get it home and you realize that people are staring, not because you look like a sweet pixie who has hidden her wings, but a grown woman in a really ugly dress. And the belt. If the best that your $282 can buy is a drapery tie-back, then you may want to keep looking.

You are getting sleepy...very sleepy

Ladies! The next time you need to beg your husbands or boyfriends for something, wear this dress and hypnotize them instead. Once they're under your power, plant a suggestion so when they awaken, they will do your bidding. The close up of this Nichole Miller dress is even stranger, it looks poorly done. And check out the back, its like from a completely different dress.


Get this one for the low low price of $265.

This would look great under a blacklight

Sometimes a dress comes around that is just fine and dandy in design, as is this one. Who would have a problem with a classic halter dress in silk. Of course, the design ON the fabric is crazy-bright. I remember bean bag chairs in this pattern and color. Sometimes black is the new black, and using a neon print is not the way to go. But it is a bargain at $260.

Looking for something for the office?

Everyone needs to update their wardrobe. Why not with this Diane von Furstenberg 'Madeleine' Shift Dress that retails for a mere $345.00. Perhaps you work for Mr. Drysdale and you need to look like a 1970's era librarian (or prude) who might work in an office. Do you think this is a busy enough print? Is it bright enough? Find some lipstick to match and you are all set.

Silver leggings are awesome

Leggings are back! Have you heard? Were you trying to ignore the siren call of the long sweater/leggings combo from the 90's? I like being warm as much as the next gal, but I don't like looking pregnant when I'm not. Or even if I am for that matter. But with this shinny outfit, you will look like you are from the future. Maybe designer Norma Kamali watched the Back To The Future trilogy one stormy October and decided to go with the post nuclear fallout tin foil look. Buy one today for the low price of $125.00. Wait, get two!