I'm On A Wrinkled Roll...

You can't throw a stick these days without hitting one of these wrinkled, crinkled ruched things they call fashion. Apparently I was cool WAY before my time because anyone could tell you that I didn't own an iron until this new millennium. This dress is by Nicole Miller and is being marketed as a Bridesmaid's dress. The bride would have to HATE her ladies in waiting to make them wear this. And its $620 for a crinkled style in dark blue, with a ruched bodice and a gunmetal hem with a fishtail back. Awesome.

Yet Another Ripped and Wrinkled One...

What is up with the "I slept in my clothes" look these days? This dress also looks it was attacked by a lawnmower or something. All shredded and torn, it looks messy. You'll pay $1710.00 for this Fendi Silk Petal dress.

Lovely Plaid

Marc Jacobs thinks this dress is Nautical-inspired. How? Which part is nautical? The price is $368 for this silk dress. Land ho!

Postman's Bag or Burlap Sack?

The full description speaks for itself: Martin Grant Powder Dress (that's the dress name) $1,550.00 Sleeveless cotton blend dress with pleated front and rear and bubble hem. Square lambskin collar with oversize button close. 37" length. Available in Nude. Made in France. 82% cotton, 18% silk. 100% lambskin collar. Dry clean. The French should be ashamed.

What Is A Caftan?

Oh hey here's one by Michael Kors. I don't know where this garment has been all my life. Something that flowy and modest is perfect for me. I definately think I look best completely covered, literally from neck to wrists to toes, in yards and yards of black and white print. Pre-orders are being taken now so get one before all your friends gobble these up. Its $2995 for a "pure silk" caftan. I expect nothing less dahlings.

Bring In the Clowns

This looks bad on the model. How will I have confidence wearing it to the office? And I will scare people too - all those folks with the clown phobias will avoid me. This Ellen Tracy Tie Front Satin Blouse is silk and $298 so you can look chubby. Nice spare tire.

Ball & Chain

Another awesome GF Jenny find. These are from Fendi and they are a suede strappy sandal with a 4.5" heel that is OH-SO-Delicate. How heavy are these shoes exactly? And can I make a pair out of the strappy sandals I already own by just driving to Ace Hardware and picking up a soldering iron and $5 worth of dog chain? Actually, never mind because these are only $690. But they're made in Italy.

Reptile Print Floods...Oh I Mean Capris!

My GF alerted me to these and I am so grateful. There is something very disturbing about these, is it the front or the back? If it weren't for the perspective of the shoes I would be lost. Roberto Cavalli designed these and he wants $795 for these cotton/spandex atrocities. I hope I see these on Paris Hilton.

Tri-Color Metallic Grandma Shoes

Darlings! I just can't decide which Rolex to wear today...the gold one or the silver and gold one? And then which shoes? My God what will Muffy and Brad at the Country Club think? I know! I'll buy these $425 sandals and I'll have all the metallic choices in the world. Bronze? Check. Silver? Check. Gold? Check. Old Lady feet? Check.

Hey Tennille the Captain is Looking For You

High waisted pants are back in style! And wow aren't these exactly what you had in mind? Someone went back in time and grabbed a pair of jeans right out of the Sears catalog or County Seat or something. All they need now is 6 pleats. Just give it time. My suggestion is to stock up on the low waisted jeans of your choice before this is all that you have to chose from. These? Well they are $231 and have a front rise of 12.5". Yowza!

That's Mistress Rodeo To You

This sort of makes me think Ralph Lauren has a little bit of a fetish. Dig the black gloves and severe look. I guess this dress would look good on someone in somekind of situation but who and where would they go in it? A wedding maybe? To the office? Ralph charges $2598 for this.

I Couldn't Decide

This one really had me back and forth. On one hand the colors are interesting; on the other the ruffles are awful. The asymetrical design is not flattering and it looks really flouncy. If you love it and think I'm crazy...well that's OK with me. Michael Kors is the designer in question and he charges $4595 for this silk dress.

Sloppy Wrinkled & Expensive

I can look like I slept in my clothes for WAY less money than $1690, I mean puh-lease. This is a Nina Ricci shirtdress made of silk organza. Yes its just about see through and yes that skirt not only looks like an apron, it has an elastic waist. Ew.

Pretty Hair

Its nice to get your hair out of your eyes - especially at the office. So its refreshing to see something huge and shiny made of leather to do the job. This thing has panache! Not only that, its $78.